According to Internal Family Systems psychotherapy, our mind holds various sub-personalities of ourselves and the Self. Each part has its own perspective and influence on our behaviour. And like members of a family, these parts can be in conflict with each other.
There are parts within us that we do not wish to claim (exiles).
There are parts that protect us (managers).
There are parts that trigger whenever the exiles dare a comeback (firefighters).
Through IFS therapy, mental balance is sought by healing the parts that are wounded and integrating all parts with the Self.
I came across this form of therapy in the book “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk, psychiatrist, author, researcher and educator. It made me think of the practice of Psychodrama that I am training in. There too, we play various parts within ourselves, that confuse us and make us behave in ways that we ourselves cannot understand. And through the play, we identify and accept the exiles, managers, and firefighters.
When we talk about trauma, people think of extreme cases of violence, abuse, or accident. But trauma also includes events that led us to reject parts of ourselves – the child seeking love and approval, the spontaneous youth, the confident student – that remind us of pain and suffering beyond our endurance to bear at the time.
Neglect can cause trauma.
Health problems can cause trauma.
Natural death and other life events can also cause trauma.
If we are behaving in ways that are hurting us and our relationships with people, we should explore our mental system in whatever ways are accessible and comfortable. Though, inner work is hardly ever comfortable!
The risk of not doing this is to stay limited in our capacity to live a wholesome and rewarding life. And also experience bad health. Remember, as Dr Bessel says, “The body keeps the score.”