To touch can be to give life.
Michelangelo
HEAD
It’s surprising how a “loving touch” has become a rare experience among humans in our hyper-connected world. In the last 2 years, social distancing further reminded us of what we were missing, the crucial touch that is elemental to our well-being.
There are studies showing that touch signals safety and trust, it soothes. Basic warm touch calms cardiovascular stress. It activates the body’s vagus nerve, which is intimately involved with our compassionate response, and a simple touch can trigger the release of oxytocin, aka “the love hormone.” According to the National Institute of Health, oxytocin lowers stress hormone levels and, by doing so, plays a part in lowering blood pressure, maintaining good moods and increasing pain tolerances.
Nurturing physical touch promotes the development of young children’s physiological systems involved in regulating emotions and stress responses. It also supports children’s prosocial development (being able to be kind, caring, and helpful). (from Cedarskids)
Seniors who live alone often do not experience the simple act of touch on a daily basis. The reasons vary: spouses and close friends have passed away, families live in other states, or physical limitations may affect activity and contact with others. Remember this when spending time with the senior in your life. (from Comfort Keepers)
It may seem that touch is only for personal circles but that’s not true. Consensual physical touch in workplaces also creates connection. A fist-bump or even an elbow-bump, for example, can be a great way to check in with a colleague. A high five can convey our happiness in the other person’s joy, and our solidarity with their feelings.
A heartful handshake can convey pleasure and the wish to know and be known.
A pat on the back can express support and empathy.
A momentary grasp of the hand can express understanding and affection.
An encouraging arm around the shoulder can lend strength to the other and express friendship.
Offering a head massage, foot massage, leg or body massage can relieve discomfort while allowing us to express our care and good wishes for the recipient. Seniors and children love them, for sure. 😊
A head rub or back rub can soothe and show our love and care.
A hug joins the physical and emotional so tightly together that you can’t tell them apart. The writer Pádraig Ó Tuama points out that an Irish way of saying hug is duine a theannadh le do chroí: to squeeze someone with your heart. (from The Guardian)
Optional extra reading
HANDS
Every day in January 2023, express yourself with a loving touch. If this feels unfamiliar, start with the immediate family and friends.
Like any act, this too gets easier with practice.
In the second week, expand your circle, and nudge the comfort zone a little wider. In the following weeks, as the heart muscles feel more supple, you might even stretch further.
Above all, open your heart and trust in the process. Let your heart lead you.
Repeat. Observe. Smile. Every day.
HEART
Observe the shift within yourself as you practice these acts of kindness. Note if they become easier over time. Journal stories that touch your heart and lead to some opening within you. Share, if you feel called, with the group using the comment section of this post. Encourage others and be encouraged. Let’s hold each other through this practice. Let’s walk each other home. 😊
One thing that i am doing now is rubbing my son’s head gently to wake him in the morning. I would earlier call out to him to wake up for school and also get annoyed when he’d delay. But not now. 🙂 I learned this from a very kind man who said the morning must always start with gentleness. I think this is a bigger gift to me than to my son.
Such a wonderful way to wake someone up Monica! I am going to give it a try myself 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing. 🥰
I start morning on a soft smiling note though don’t touch everyday. Will do that from tomorrow.
I loved the Irish way of explaining a hug – to squeeze someone with your heart. I have started hugging my children before they go off to school everyday. Earlier I used to wish them from the balcony. This is a new experience for all of us . My son who is 11 seems to be loving it 🙂 While my daughter who is 15 seems confused and reluctant. I wish to go out of my comfort zone in the days to come with this practice.
Thank you for sharing the ways of doing kind behaviour. It is actionable.
When we start any new practice…we often ignore ourselves….As I was reflecting on this idea…thought I should start with the self touch…which anyway I have been doing everyday during my morning meditation…now I will do it with the awareness of new understanding that I got through this initiative … then upgrade the practice with spouse and so on…
Self-touch, yes, that’s so true. This is an essential element that we may not be doing with awareness. Thank you for shining a light on this need. Many words in our culture have become sullied, unfortunately. But self-touch is a very healing activity – massaging pain areas, hugging oneself, caressing the neck in tiredness, holding the forehead in anxiety – all of these are powerful soothers.
Starting here and then expanding to include others is a beautiful idea, Praveen. 🙂
Yes. Self touch is essential and empowering. Thanks for sharing Praveen
Every morning a hug to myself is a loving touch, I am reminded each morning I am important too…
I gave a loving hug to my mommy after a very long felt loved back 💕
That is just lovely, Jaya. Hugs from me too. 🤗 😊