Excerpts are taken from Sharon Salzberg’s articles. If you’re keen to explore this topic in depth, do listen to Sharon’s podcast: METTA HOUR PODCAST: Sympathetic joy – Part 1.
In Buddhism, comparison is equivalent to conceit.
When we compare, we assess who were are and what our experience is by external reference points.
Whether we believe we are better or worse, the habit of comparing causes great harm. Since external reference points tend to change, our mind stays in a constant state of painful restlessness.
Just like in a battle, where there are no winners at the end of the day, “comparison” puts us in a state of inner battle where we set ourselves up to lose – lose self-esteem, self-worth, and the peace that comes from contentment.
What can we do to change this?
Practice Mudita or Boundless Joy. This is the practice in which we experience pure joy in the happiness of others. When we stop looking at others to define ourselves, we come to see who we truly are, and how worthy we are of self-love. This leads to confidence and contentment. We also break out of our inner insecurities. And from there rises our ability to be truly happy for another’s good fortune. We are no longer threatened by the joys of others.
Every Friday, 6 PM, we get together for Inner Work Sessions on Zoom to work on various themes including Mudita. Our goal is to understand ourselves and in so doing, understand and accept others, and open our hearts to infinite possibilities of love and compassion. The sessions are offered in giftism. You can register here.