It’s not easy to change old habits. This includes our choice of words, tone, volume, body language and all the other things that convey a message. There are things we hate about our parents that we catch ourselves replicating. We feel most comfortable in the language of our childhood even when we have not appreciated the way it is used at all times.
I remember many biases and judgements floating around at home and social gatherings, cloaked in casualness and levity. Objections and stronger opposition to such remarks were received the same way or labelled as comments from the “over-sensitive” children of the modern age.
When I think about it, life involved a fair amount of hypocrisy and suppression of true feelings. And I know that this story isn’t mine alone. The “conditioning,” rooted in our need to “fit in” and “belong” runs deep. And often, our external narrative is quite distinct from the internal.
As a result of this double-life, we can disconnect from our authentic self, suppress or ignore our true feelings and needs. And as Marshall Rosenberg, founder of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), says – when we act from the anything other than the consciousness of giving from the heart, somebody pays the cost.
I have paid the cost, and many relationships in my life and people in them have paid it too. But there is a better way, and NVC is a brilliant process that can get me there.
Do you wish to be your authentic self? If you have explored NVC, how has it played out in your life? If you haven’t explored, it watch this video to get a gist. You won’t regret it!