I get my hair cut at a salon next to my home. And everytime, there’s someone new. I worry about their experience but the curiosity to see how they perform always wins. So I submit my head to their expertise thinking, “Well, it’s just hair.”
Every person who has cut my hair has had a different starting point. Sometimes it’s the back. Sometimes it’s the top or the left side, right side, front or back. It’s quite interesting. And I wonder whether the difference is because of the different schools of training they come from or their own learned experience.
The hairstylist today was new again. He started from my right ear. I asked him if he was new and he smirked and said he’s been around for a year. Oops! I said I hadn’t seen him before. He was quiet. After some time, when he was pulling my hair in all directions with the brush (he was rougher than most), I remembered that I had seen him around. I hoped he wasn’t offended and that his roughness was just his style, not the result of irritation.
I also noticed that he didn’t look very engaged with me. His eyes kept darting around. He looked distracted. I thought I’d start a conversation but he didn’t look too inviting. And I was a bit tired myself to try and make the effort. Again, I wondered if I should mention that I’ve seen him around.
In the fastest haircut I’ve received yet – 15 minutes – I was at the billing counter thanking him for the service. And he gave me a big smile saying the haircut looked good.
So the whole story going on inside my head was just that – my story. A story that was rooted in my own needs – for approval and acceptance – even from a stranger. Does that make me “needy?” Many people would say Yes. But the truth is, the stories we create and the actions we take are most often a response to our needs being met or not met.
How many times have you created a story in your head about someone looking at their behaviour?